|
Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers
but seldom, if ever, smell one
another?
Dear God,
When we get to heaven can we sit
on your couch? Or is it the same
old story?
Dear God,
Why are there cars named after
the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray
and the rabbit but not ONE is
named for a dog? How often do
you see a cougar riding around?
We dogs love a nice ride! Would
it be so hard to rename the
'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler
Beagle'?
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in
the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God,
We dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns,
clickers, beepers, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields,
and Frisbee flight paths. What
do humans understand?
Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti,
please.
Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates,
do we have to shake hands to get
in?
Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If
there are, will I have to
apologize?
Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just
some of the things I'd like you
to help me remember so I can be
a good dog:
I will not eat the cats' food
before they eat it.
I will not roll on dead
seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just
because I like the way they
smell!
The sofa is not a face towel;
neither is Mom And Dad's laps.
The garbage collector is not
stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong in the
refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's
hand when he reaches in for
Mom's driver's license and
registration.
I will not play tug-of-war with
Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
I do not need to suddenly stand
straight up when I'm lying under
the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out
of my fur before entering the
house.
I will not come in from outside
and immediately drag my butt
across the carpet.
I will not sit in the middle of
the living room and lick my
crotch when company is over.
The cat is not a squeaky toy; so
when I play with him and he
makes those noises I will
remember it's not a good thing.
Dear God,
May I have my testicles back
please?
Select Another Giggles Feature Below |
